It's a twofer!

I'm enthralled by Criminal Minds, so I haven't much to say other than please enjoy my outfits.

Outfit #1

Recap:

Blazer: Express (many years ago)

Shirt: White House Black Market

Skirt & Tights: The Limited

Boots: Etienne Aigner at Macy's

Outfit #2 

Easy five-minute hair (I started it in high school, and I decided to relive it today.) Let me know if you'd like a quick tutorial.

Recap:

Cardigan: LOFT (several seasons ago)

Blouse: The Limited (current season)

Belt: Express (current season)

Pants: NY & Co.

Shoes: Marshall's (Jones New York)

Unexpected Inspiration

Today's Outfit Inspiration: My Husband

  

Truth be told: during the school week, I have to pick out my clothes the night before; otherwise, I will end up with a sock on my arm, an earring in only my right ear, and two different colored shoes. OR, it will take me 20 minutes to coherently match items from my closet. Option 1 leaves me feeling manic all day, and option 2 makes me late for work. 

I forgot to pick out my clothes last night. Horrors.

I woke up this morning thinking, "what the crap do I wear?" Then, my husband stepped out of his home office wearing a pink shirt with gray pants. I was digging the color combination, so I hunted for a pink and gray combo in my own closet. Ta da. 

(Note: He is the Jolly Green Giant, so he opted for the white shirt once he realized that his pink shirt was too short for his torso. He then let out a string of profanities when he realized that blood made it onto the collar of his second shirt. Luckily for him, he has a prepared wife who handed him a Tide to-go stick.)

Had I picked out my outfit last night, I would have added some jewelry, chosen different shoes (these are too matchy matchy), and picked another belt. However, time was of the essence, so I threw together this ensemble thanks to Jefferino's inspiration. There's hope for him yet.

The following picture looks much more scandalous than I had intended. I thought, "I want a full body shot, but I can't get the right angle with the tripod." I decided to hop on top of the couch. It seemed appropriate at the time. Hindsight is 20-20.

P.S. That blanket is heaven. No joke. You need one. I have two. Kohl's. 

I hope you enjoy our gray day.

A blonde's evolution.

So, I've always loved to experiment with my hair. If you can't change the world, change your hair, your clothes, or your attitude. Enjoy. 

It all started with curls. Note: Here is where my love for big hair and nautical wear began. Thanks, Mom. Also, I'd like to note that my brother is sporting a mullet and acid wash jeans. Snazzy.

Look at me and my beachy wavy hair. Why can't I still be this cool?

I've rocked super short with lots of different highlights.

Same hair, just curly.  (You can see my pink bra. SWEET.)

Lots of layers. Did NOT like this look.

Fancy make up and reddish locks.

Did not like this one either, but I'm wearing cowboy boots.

ULTRA blonde...from the bottle.

Same color, different style. See how much versatility curls give?

No bangs but curls abound.

Then I went to the dark side. It's cheaper there.

I grew it out a bit.

I let the curls go free.

I look like a rock star. Why am I cool only in pictures?

Bangs in the middle?

This is my favorite brunette color and style. 

This is the style I want. Perfect layers. Perfect length. Perfect color.

Angled toward the face. The Jennifer Anniston style will never die.

Super blonde to the rescue!

Let's be honest. I am including this picture because I love this one of us.

At a wedding. 

Look, Ma! No bangs!

Whoa, there, Nelly. 

Suuuuuper long.

Clipless curling iron.

I like all of the colors in my bangs (to be sung like all the colors of the wind.)

Softer curls with the bangs.

I'm diggin' it.

Pretty recent. 

Wedding hair. (I'm shamelessly wearing extensions.)

Extensions and cuteness (beside me).

I do not have photographic proof, but my hair has also been fire engine red and florescent orange. (As you can imagine, there are good reasons not to have documentation.) Many other styles graced my head, but these were the pictures I already uploaded to my computer. 

So, which styles and colors do you like best? 

Skinny is a dirty word.

Yep, I've always been little with big feet. 

Thanks to my grandmother and mother, I'm stacked like a twelve-year-old boy, but there are advantages to being blessed with no chest. Itty bitty booby committee members, listen up. 


First, allow me to highlight the pitfalls of having a washboard that extends from abs to shoulders.


One, almost every billowy blouse requires an undershirt unless I want to lean over and flash the Grand Canyon to anyone in sight. Hmmm, Grand Canyon is a terrible metaphor because the Grand Canyon actually has raised terrain. Perhaps that's wishful thinking. Now it's not that I dislike undershirts, but sometimes a girl just wants to throw on one shirt and feel satisfied that everything under it will remain unseen until it's replaced by pajamas. 


Two, nearly every well-endowed woman feels that it's her duty to explain to me the plight of possessing chesticles. I don't understand your goal for discussing this issue with me. Are you trying to make sure that I never buy (or attempt to grow) boobs of my own? Are you attempting to insult my lack of growth? Are you just in need of an ear (one that can be only sympathetic, not empathetic)? 


Three, it gets old being teased for "having a front as flat as your back" and sporting "mosquito bites." We've heard all of the insults, so let's move on. 


Now that I'm older and care less about public opinion than I once did, I see the perks to having no more than a handful.   


One, almost no shirt looks scandalous on a woman with a pre-teen upper half. (I've heard so many voluptuous women complain about their "girls" making them look like a prostitute, and not the gorgeous Julia Roberts type.) Side note: though it's nice not to worry about looking too scantily clad, let it be known, that sometimes it would be nice to actually fill out a shirt. Just sayin'.


Two, I can squeeze through small spaces without any obstacles in front of me, or on the front of me. Unlike one of our dogs, I can think small and actually be small. I think our 48-pound dog looks at our 28-pound dog and thinks, "Hey, if she can fit through that sliver of a space between the chair and the table, then so can I." She then proceeds to smash into the table leg. Thwarted again by your look-big-think-small mentality, my dear. 


Three, nothing can sag, if there's nothing to sag. 


Four, I can [sometimes] fabricate the illusion that something exists between my belly button and chin. Without the aid of three sports bras and rolls of duct tape, it's darn near impossible for well endowed women to hide their bounty. 


Five, boobs will never be the cause of my back problems. (Just stupid men who crash into the back of my car while I'm sitting at a red light.) 


Allow me to close my thoughts with this commentary. Women need to stop making each other feel ashamed of their sizes. 


The next time you healthy, thicker-than-me girls dine out at your favorite restaurant, please consider all of those delicious foods that you can eat without repercussions and remember that some of us "skinny" girls might never be able to eat them without severe intestinal distress (or death). For you mean thin girls, consider that the voluptuous woman you're making fun of for being "fat" might have a thyroid that's crashing, or she might be taking medication that made her gain a lot of weight that she's trying to lose, or she might have undiagnosed Celiacs that's making her whole body swell with every bite of foods she doesn't realize she should avoid. 


I know I started with boobs, but the bigger picture is this: women, you don't know why a woman is the size she is (even when you think you know, you don't), so try to focus on the positives. Maybe she has amazing shoes, or she has such beautiful curls. For the past few years, I've tried to refocus my thinking. When I catch myself making a snarky remark (which always stems from my own insecurities), I try to find something positive or at least acknowledge that I'm jealous of her __________. 


(I'm even finding it much harder to watch any "reality" TV because of how mean they are to each other. Of course, that doesn't mean I've stopped watching shows that turn my brain to mush after a long day of teaching.)


The less time we spend bashing other women the more time we free up to better ourselves. 

Dressing up jeggings...non-hooker-pants style

Some girls who wear leggings or jeggings or tights or whatever are downright scandalous.

If you're going out in public, please cover your butt. Literally. Cover it. Especially if you are not wearing underwear that covers your whole butt and your jeggings/leggings/whatever are transparent. Obscene. I do not wish to see what yo' momma gave you.

In order to avoid offending anyone, I'm going to leave it at that. Just cover up your lady parts, please.

Tunic: NY & Co. (last summer)
Cardigan: LOFT (last year)
Necklace: gift from Momma Dukes
Jeggings: NY & Co. (last year)
Black flats: Marc Fisher at Macy's (bought them in January '12)

I'm a hula dancer (be prepared for high dollar amusement)

Today's outfit is brought to you by The Limited.

Today's hair style is brought to you by Curls Rock (because they do).

A new lease on marriage (and two outfits)

So, Jeff started his new job (at the same company) today; after six long months, he's finally back on day shift. I obviously realized how much I missed him when he wasn't home at night, but I didn't realize just how amazing it would be to have him home. We can be married now! :)

Yesterday, we both cleaned out our closets (so many bags of clothes to donate) and organized the basement. Last night, we popped Big Bang Theory into the TV, and I dreamily fell asleep with a sweet husband next to me. Blissful. This morning, Jeff woke up with me, ate breakfast with me, warmed up my car, reminded me to take my green tea, and saw me off to work. I knew it was going to be a good day, and it was.

I'm so happy to finally have a husband.

Please enjoy Saturday's outfit and today's outfit. (I did not dare take pictures of my "cleaning" outfit from yesterday. Not pretty.)

 Saturday's Outfit

What was I doing? Gettin' my hair did. Yay for snipping off dead ends.

What do I like? The colors and the polka dots.

What's my problem with the ensemble? Too much of one color. Agreed? I think I should keep both the pants and the top, but I think they need to be paired with different outfits. What do you think?

Also, shirt tucked in or bloused out?

 

Top: NY & Co.

Shoes: Target

Pants: Boscov's (I can't remember the brand, but Delia's sells them too)

Today's (Monday) Outfit

What was I doing? Teaching, duh.

What do I like? The colors. The fact that I'm channeling Green Acres

What don't I like? I wish the pants were a bit longer so that I could wear heels. The pant length made flats necessary; however, I love the shoes.  

 

Checkered button up: Old Navy

Cardigan: The Limited (comes with a tie, which I opted out of using)

Pants: NY & Co.

Necklace: A math teacher from my old school gave it to me (she was cleaning out her wonderfully styled closet...I win!)

Belt: American Eagle circa middle school (no lie)--it's also a boy's belt

Shoes: Baker's

P.S. It really makes me laugh that Saturday's outfit matched my bedroom walls, and today's outfit matched my dining room wall. I totally planned that.