What you see is what you get.

Brynn completed the questions in video format, but my face currently looks as if poison ivy set up camp on it. I decided to spare you, but I hope my verbal wit conveyed itself in writing. If not, know that I made a valiant effort.

1.   How tall are you?  5’6”

2. Do you have a hidden talent?  If so, what? If I told you, it wouldn’t be hidden any longer and what fun is that? However, I can scratch my nose with my nose and do the Elvis lip. Do these freakish physical feats count?

3. What's your biggest blog-related pet peeve? I have to agree with Brynn on this one. People who leave comments in hopes you will comment on their blogs. Also, if I sprinkle my heart into the post talking about something other than poop, which is my typical banter, and all you say is “cute shoes!” then I’m feeling rather slighted. Maybe I spend an inordinate amount of time deliberating over what I’ll post in a comment, but I feel some thought should go into a comment even if it’s one that makes the blogger laugh.

4. What's your biggest non-blog-related pet peeve? Of what variety exactly? Fashion related? Absolutely that tall sock trend that’s all the rage among teenagers. You know the trend we made fun of our granddads for because they wore the socks to prevent shin sunburns? Oh, and leggings being worn as pants. They’re called leggings, which means I should see only your legs. When they make something called assings, feel free to let that body part hang out. No, on second thought, don’t. Just don’t.

5. What's your favorite song? Do people even have favorite songs anymore? That’s a thing? Seriously? There is so much music out there, and you expect me to pick ONE song? I can pick one man to love for the rest of my life, but a song? Nope.

6. What's your favorite Etsy shop that isn't yours? I don’t Etsy. Is that a verb? Can I make it a verb even though I don’t do it? Everyone is so talented on there, and I think my mom should sell her scarves on there.

7. What's your favorite way to spend your free time when you're alone? I like looking at blogs, shopping alone, and generally being alone, which Jeff rarely lets me do. I make him go fishing so that I can have “me” time (which usually results in grading time). Otherwise, he will make as much noise as humanly possible, and he will get in my face as frequently as he can.

8. What's your favorite junk food? I’m not sure how much you know about me, but I have the world’s most cantankerous digestive system. Junk food does not exist in my home nor my vocabulary. Back when I could consume anything, I loved oatmeal cream pies and Lucky Charms. Now, I drink kale smoothies, brown rice cakes with almond butter, and cucumbers smothered in olive oil and Old Bay. Try not to be too jealous of me.

9. Do you have a pet or pets?  If so, what kind and what are their names? Oh, if you follow me on Instagram, you’d know the answer is yes. I could not live life without dogs. We have two Shiba Inu, Squirt and Roxy, also known as Squirtle and Roxy Doodles. Or peanut and brazil nut. Or princess and dumpy butt.

10. What are your number one favorite nonfiction and fiction books? I can actually answer this question unlike the song one. The Alchemist is my favorite fiction book of all time; it speaks to my soul. We even used an excerpt of it for one of the readings at our wedding. As for nonfiction, I loved The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. It made me feel all the feelings. At one point, I actually threw the book across the room; I can’t believe what an enormous bastard her father is/was.

11. What's your favorite beauty product? Currently, this subject is a sensitive one because I happen to be allergic to something I put on my face. What exactly, I won’t know for several more days until I see the doctor. However, First Aid Beauty’s lotion has been a life and skin saver. When I find something that does not make my skin rage something hellish, I shall inform the masses by singing from the rooftops. And possibly doing a jig.

12. When were you last embarrassed?  What happened? If you met my dad and brother, you would understand that embarrassment does not exist in my family. Dad spent too many years conditioning us against it. However, that time I completely took a dive outside of Target might qualify as embarrassing. Actually, painful is a better adjective. Purely excruciating. I called my Dad after it happened to say that I followed his and Mom’s “always break your fall with your hands, not your face” advice and he said, “What? Did the sidewalk jump out at you?” A brutal war wound showed up approximately three minutes later.

13. If you could only drink on beverage (besides water) for the rest of your life, what would it be? Those kale smoothies I made fun of earlier are actually delicious, but my tastebuds are distorted. If I told you what really goes into it, you might stop visiting me here.

14. What's your favorite movie? Under the Tuscan Sun makes me so happy; Jeff and I quote it weekly. Brynn is my long lost best friend because I love crude movies, too, especially Pitch Perfect. And goofy movies. Like Tommyboy. And Liar Liar. And Mrs. Doubtfire. And Easy A.

15. What were you in high school: prom queen, nerd, cheerleader, jock, valedictorian, band geek, loner, artist, prep? None of the above. Can I call myself a floater without your thinking of me as a turd in the toilet? No? Well, that’s the best way I can describe it. For the record, I’m way cooler as a teacher than I ever was as a student.

16. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Wherever my family is I could happily call home. And food my stomach can safely consume. Anywhere that’s not this apartment.

17. PC or Mac? One of my colleagues says he doesn’t know how Jeff and I are married because I am absolutely Mac and he is staunchly PC. We make it work.

18. Last romantic gesture from a crush, date, boy/girlfriend, spouse? As you may or may not know, we are moving at the end of the month and I have a lot of allergies. (My brother has referred to me as bubble girl on more than one occasion.) So, Jeff has scheduled duct cleanings, a maid service, and carpet cleaning before I move into the house. I find that wildly romantic because he genuinely cares about my well-being. He even went to the natural market today to get me make-up that would (hopefully) not make my face look like it was covered in Poison Ivy. Also, he makes me breakfast every single morning. He’s just so thoughtful. (I know I complained about his harassing me earlier, but at least I can follow that up with a lot of positives.)

19. Favorite celebrity? Emma Stone, HANDS DOWN. Girlfriend looks hot in every hair color. Her wit is enviable. And I love every single one of her movies.

20. What blogger do you secretly want to be best friends with? So many. Kate, Brynn, already met Whitney!, Andi, Fran, Ginny, and Lauren just to name a few. If you actually understand my humor and appreciate it, let’s be friends online and in real life. 

I would tag people, but I think everyone I would have tagged is already tagged. SO, do it if you haven't already!