A Little Bit of WoWe : bow scarf

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Dear, Shopping-Addicted Self:

Dear, Shopping-Addicted Self,

1. Do not buy anything just because it is on sale; otherwise, you will end up with a closet full of mismatched pieces (i.e. the hole I am currently digging my wardrobe out of).

2. Conversely, never pay full price for anything unless it is already within the price point you wish to spend on that particular item.

3. Just because it fits does not mean it ships to "you look like the bomb.com" town. Additionally, just because, "Mooooom, everyone else is wearing it!" and it looks good on everyone else, does not mean it will look good on you.

4. Confidence completes any outfit. If you're confident in rocking those paisley pants, then you get down with your bad self and rock those paisley pants. Fashion is meant to be fun, not formulated.

5. If you do not absolutely love it in the store, you certainly will not love it once you get it home. Some outfits just do not qualify as "take me home to Momma" material. Accept it.

6. If it itches, bunches, pulls, and smacks you in the face (or other, more awkward body parts) after five minutes in the dressing room, you're going to be dolphin-punching angry after five hours in it. You used this strategy when you shopped for wedding dresses, and it worked swimmingly. Apply this strategy to all clothing.

7. If you cannot make this item part of at least three different outfits in your wardrobe, then it is a colossal waste of money.

8. If you continue to buy five versions of the same damn black sweater or striped shirt or red cardigan, I'm stealing your piggy bank and never returning it. And you like that piggy bank because it's actually an orange elephant you named Penny. Penny's life depends on this rule.

9. You know the best place to shop? Your own closet! Oh.Em.Geeee. Who would've thunk it? You have so many lovely clothes that your husband has to store his in the office closet. Maybe you should shop your own closet before heading to Target...again.

Please take these rules into consideration every time that you pull out your wallet, or I will be forced to hide your Pirate's Booty cheddar puffs somewhere that you will never find them. Penny will go with them.

Love,

Your Reasonable Shopper Other Half

Does anyone else have public, written conversations with themselves? Or, is that idiosyncrasy all mine?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy today's outfit. I came up with a new way (for me) to tie my scarf: in a bow! I figure shirts with bows are all the rage. What should stop me from turning my scarf into one?

Maybe common sense, but who has that anymore?

Outfit Deets:

Sweater: Forever 21

Pants: J.Lo via Kohl's (Momma bought 'em for me!)

Boots: Franco Sarto via Marshall's

Scarf: From Momma (not sure where she got it)

What would you put in a letter to yourself?

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Lumberjack in a Skirt

Today, I decided to try something unusual for me. I mixed flannel and a swooshy skirt. It just felt right, and the best part? I was ridiculously comfortable all day...except when my tights gave me a wicked wedgie. I wasn't so comfortable then.

Anyway, I have a few comments to make. I know what you're thinking: when don't you have commentary to share, Danielle? This is my space (not to be confused with the antiquated social media site), so I can comment all I wish. Okay, now that that business is aside, indulge me.

1. If a person works in customer service, shouldn't that person NOT be a miserable human being? Typically, I'm an easygoing chick, but mess with Momma dukes, and I put up my dukes. The lady was so nasty that she made some rude remark as my Mom walked away. I heard her, turned around, and said, "Usually, an employee waits until the customer is out of earshot to make a rude remark." I added some acrimonious filler, which I will not share here. Ahem. Anyway, don't work in customer service if you're an a-hole. Don't they put that requirement on the application?

2. Mom complained about the nasty ladies to one of the cashiers who is always ridiculously nice to us. He has such a bright demeanor that I just want to clone him and hire his duplicates to do the job those wenches couldn't do. Anyway, he called over the manager to tell her. Well, she was certainly no cup of sunshine either. And her "top knot" looked like an alien infestation. Horrific. She chastised this employee in front of us for telling her this information in front of us. Is anyone else recognizing the irony here? Soooo, you're doing the very same thing that you're yelling at your employee for doing?

3. I was walking past a mannequin when something caught my eye. I turned around and what did I see in between the mannequin's fingers? A DIRTY Q-TIP. For serious, people? Double eww. How filthy mcnasty can you possibly be to wedge your earwax soaked q-tip in between a poor, defenseless mannequin's fingers? Blech.

4. This comment is completely unrelated to Kohl's. While I was driving to work, my earring backing fell out. I have NO idea how it happened, but it happened. Obviously, I did not want to take out my earrings for fear of losing them all together. My solution? Pop the eraser off of a mechanical pencil in my car and use it as a backing. It worked all day. Just call me MacGyver.

Anyway, I tell you this information because Mom took my pictures at Kohl's. A girl has to do what a girl has to do. Mom frowned about taking my picture with the clothes in the background; I felt that you should know that information. Also, Mom made this scarf because she's sweet and talented.