Thursday, May 7, 2015

Pregnancy is...

Pregnancy is...

* Mapping out the locations of the nearest bathrooms and realizing that you will eventually stop caring whether or not they're clean.

*Assuring every male who works with you that the grunt that just emanated from your entire being was a reaction to a head in your ribcage, not an S.O.S. requiring immediate medical attention.

* Accepting the fact that you might end up needing someone to wheel you to your destination in a desk chair because a tiny dancer is holding a recital on your sciatica.

* Learning how not to pee when you sneeze...or at least learning how to pack another pair of pants...or how to own the wet spot. (Billy Madison tells us only cool kids pee their pants.)

* Consulting webMD to verify that your strange symptoms are frighteningly common and normal.

*  Engaging in pep talks with your closet full of clothes that now pose creative obstacles.

*  Embracing the ugly cry. On an hourly basis.

* Pregnancy is realizing that those familiar spaces you once navigated with ease are now riddled with obstacles in the form of your increasing klutziness and growing belly. Seatbelt? Torture device. Student bookbags and computer cords? Land mines. Shoe buckles? Pointless inventions. Couch? Quicksand. Bed? HAHAHA, SUCKER.

Dress (recent): Old Navy
Shirt: The Limited
Cardigan (recent): Old Navy
Sandals: Franco Sarto via DSW


  1. All of these lovely pregnancy side effects/new ways of life make me look forward to being pregnant so much! haaahahaa, yeah... I can just picture one of your students running with you in a rolling chair down the hall in a rush to get you to your destination and you holding on for dear life. Mapping out bathrooms is an everyday occurance for me. Road trips or long drives are no fun for the people with average bladders. I should probably just set up a little toilet near my bed since I'm sure I'll need it three times as often.

  2. Love how you knotted the collared shirt over the dress...makes the pump even cuter! I must say, while I'm looking forward to eventually being a mom, I'm not looking forward to all the other stuff that comes with pregnancy. Thanks for sharing ;)


  3. And pregnancy looks great on you :)

  4. For those of us who are already clumsy, pregnancy is just an adventure! My doctor assures me baby is safely packed in and won't be injured, but I am always running into things belly first. Poor kid! Anyway, it's so fun to see your bump growing! You look gorgeous and I'm so happy for you! And yeah, the bed situation just gets more difficult to navigate. I'm like a flipped turtle when I try to roll from one side to the other. It's ridiculous.

  5. I am so loving reading about your pregnancy and reminiscing about mine! Oh, I so don't miss the part where I peed my pants sneezing. Oh wait, that didn't go away. (My own fault for saying, "Screw the kegels, I'm going to bed.")

  6. You'll have to do a post-pregnancy post to share all the great things that make pregnancy worthwhile, because at this point it really just makes me ask "why do women go through this? and multiple times at that?" I need some logical explanation. I'm holding you to that in a few months!


Feel free to throw some witticisms my way.