Friday, April 18, 2014

I won't talk about my nose today.

I gave my little social media and blog buttons a face lift over there on the right. I know. They look so much prettier. However, dear reader, do not be fooled by my apparent awesomeness. It's just procrastination in disguise. By procrastination, I mean, "I'm finally feeling well enough to grade papers during spring break, but PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME." I am sure the guilt will ensue soon enough because isn't that the life of a teacher? Well, it's the life of this teacher. 

Anyway, I know I can't "cheat" the Looking Lucky challenge and double up any of the themes, so I bring you yet another look inspired by the theme "geometrics." I must confess, however, that Geometry was the only class in which I landed a C. Ever. Proofs befuddled me no matter how many times the teacher explained it. Though I think I should add that this particular teacher previously "taught" my rapscallion of an older brother. In truth, she had him in only homeroom, but he terrorized her quite effectively. For fear of narcs, I will not divulge the tomfoolery in which he engaged that may or may not have led to her eventual admittance to an institution. As such, when she taught me, I think she took one look at me and thought, "oh, damn," which may be why she seated me so close to the door that one forceful sneeze would have shot me into the hallway. 
It's very hard to pay attention in the back of the class. I should know.

So, how are we feeling about white pants? And wide-leg white pants no less? 

The Look:
Shirt: Old Navy (similar from Target)
Scarf: Banana Republic Outlet from Momma (I like this green and white floral one.)
Necklace: The Limited (really inexpensive at Body Central)
Shoes: via DSW (splurgespendsave)
Pants: New York & Co. (similarbootcutskinny)

I look so much sassier in this picture than I really am.

Linking up with
* Favorite Fashion Friday
* Style Elixir's Fab Friday
* Charming Fridays

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Pickles Solve Everything.

When Mom "babysat" me for a few hours the day after my surgery last week, I popped up from the couch (okay, at that point, there was no "popping up" of any sort, but I digress) and declared, "I want a pickle. I don't know why, but every time I feel like poo, I want a pickle. I talked to Jeremy [that's my brother] and he said he wants to eat only pickles when he's sick. They're like a magic elixir." What did Mom say in return? She feels the same way about pickles. And the pickles can be only dill pickles; no other will suffice. We share pickle sick cravings it appears. Of course, one must be careful not to consume too many pickles because that can induce another type of "sickness." And that kind of "sickness" makes me want to unfriend myself and run as far away from me as possible.

Another weird observation for you: sinus surgery might have helped with my complexion. I know this is so odd, which is no surprise coming from me, but, as Mom said, my face doesn't look so "angry." I had a lot of inflammation/redness on my cheeks, which we're thinking might have been because I had snot stuck in my face. My septum was so deviated that the snot couldn't run away inside my face, so maybe it was trying to run away outside of my face? I don't know. Either way, my face is looking and feeling so much better already. No, I am not looking forward to the follow-up appointment when the doctor will suck more things out of my face on Friday, but nothing can be as bad as the unpacking process. If women were ordered to give birth through their noses, I would venture to say that's exactly what the unpacking process is: things far too enormous are exiting holes far too small. You're welcome for the imagery.

Sorry for going on and on and on and on the past few days about my sinuses, but I think this post brought back the funny. Aren't you happy to read me in my true form? No? Well then, let me distract you with a pretty outfit.

Also, would you mind telling me how you feel about this skirt on me? It has pockets (HELLO!?), and I love its length/color, but I am wondering if it looks too voluminous on me? It's definitely my size, but I'd love to know if it works for my bottom half.

(At least my stalker is cute?)

The Look:
Cardigan: New York & Co. (gift from my sister in law--I love this cardigan! I wish I didn't search for a similar one online because now I want ALL of these.)
Top: Old Navy (navy & white from Target)
Skirt: Poshmark (lions79 has a cuuuute closet) but it's J.Crew (similar)
Heels: J.Crew Factory (exact)

 Look at me bringing sexy back.

I'm linking up with these cool cats today:
* What I Wore to Work:
* Look What I Got (for cheap):
* Tres-Chic Fashion Thursday:

Seeing Spots

Typically, Jeff remains cautious about commenting on something that I'm wearing (smart man), so if he actually says something, then I know he's being honest. After Mom took pictures of this outfit, Jeff declared, "I really like those pants." Any man who encourages crazy prints and bright colors as much as I do is clearly meant to be married to me. 

When Sarah promoted the April Challenge, I immediately thought of these pants for both the cropped and geometrics themes. THEN, when Marissa and Heidi posted their Pantone Challenge, I realized these shoes would be the perfect pop of dazzling blue color for this outfit. Ah, I love it when things just fall into place. 

Thank you to all of you who have sent me get well wishes. I am so glad I chose to get surgery over my spring break because it gives me ample time to recover. However, one can watch only so much TV before wanting to run around furiously in circles. I am going STIR CRAZY. I am about to make friends with the spiders or actually begin conversing with Ellie, my elephant-shaped humidifier. Luckily, two of my colleagues are coming to visit me today. 
Talking to humans is preferable. 

The Look:
Top: LOFT (gift from Momma)
Pants: New York & Co. 
Necklace: Poshmark shop
Shoes: via Kohl's (I really do love these shoes.)

Cute little Rudy (a.k.a. Rooster)

After looking at the front of his head, can you see why we nicknamed him Rooster? So much fluff on the top of his head. 

I also wore the top this way...

The pants this way...

And the shoes this way...

Also linking up with 
* Pleated Poppy (

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Pajamas in Disguise

I wore this outfit two weekends ago to visit Mom and Dad. Boy, is this dress comfortable. It's made out of sweatshirt material. Unless you try to wear it in the dead of summer, how could you go wrong?  I think we can all agree that any item of clothing that feels like pajamas without being pajamas is the best item of clothing. 

Today, I am still recovering from sinus surgery. Since Jeff had to go back to work, HGTV is keeping me company. Mom is coming over soon, too. Hopefully, she can braid my hair for me because mustering up the energy to "do" my hair just to sit on the couch seems like a large waste of time (though I have plenty of it right now). 

For now, I am going to sit here in my robe and see how deeply I can imprint my butt into the couch. 

The Look:
Dress: Old Navy (last year)
Booties: Old Navy
Scarf: Christopher A. Banks
Necklace: Francesca's (I really do love their jewelry.)

Today, I'm linking up with some lovely ladies:
The Modern Austen & Literate and Stylish's Pantone Challenge
(Today's color is Paloma, which is a cool gray.)

Monday, April 14, 2014

Let me show you my hot pants since I'm not too hot.

So, this past Thursday, I had sinus surgery. The doctor had to fix my deviated septum, bone spur, and clean out my completely clogged sinus cavity. After the surgery, he told Jeff what was happening inside my face. Apparently, my septum was so severely deviated that it totally blocked my left sinus cavity, making it impossible for anything to drain. Essentially, I was on antibiotics for seven weeks for no reason because the infection couldn't clear if it had nowhere to go. He tried to aerate the passages next to my tear ducts, but there was too much inflammation. He found a lot of "diseased" tissue, among other disgusting things, in my sinus cavity.

Today, the doctor unpacked my nose. OH MY GOSH. I do not want to gross you out, so I will not give you the details. All I can tell you is that I cannot believe what came out of my nose this morning.  It was like something from a science fiction movie except this was real. I am almost certain he poked me in the brain at one point. Luckily, Jeff was there to calm me down. The pain was so severe (even with one Percocet and one Tylenol in my system) that I started shaking. Jeff sat in front of me and rubbed my legs and held my hand the whole time. 

Seriously, this weekend was miserable, but Jeff makes the best nurse. He even washed my hair for me. He stayed up for 33 hours straight after my surgery because he insisted on watching me while I slept. He wrote up a schedule for taking pills and fixed me something to eat every time I had to take more medicine. I think I fell in love with him all over again. I avoid being overly sentimental, but I just cannot help it. He went above and beyond the call of duty for me. One of the best parts of this weekend was spending so much time with Jeff. He slept on the floor beside me. We watched a LOT of TV together. And not once did I worry about grading papers or doing work. 

Oh, and it feels pretty glorious to breathe again. 

Currently, I am sitting here in yoga pants and one of Jeff's shirts (mine hit my nose and cause quite the discomfort when I try to put them over my head. I'm special.). I don't think anyone needs pictures of that mess, so I am showing you another outfit I'm thinking about packing for Dallas. Thoughts?

I was inspired by both the Pantone Challenge (radiant orchid is today's color) and April Challenge ("fringe" is today's challenge). 

The Look:
Shirt: The Limited
Blazer: Express
Pants: The Limited
Necklace: Francesca's (I thought this necklace qualified as "fringe")
Shoes: via Kohl's
Belt: The Limited 

I also wore the pants this way...
(I guess I stuck with the same color scheme?)

I stuck to a more neutral palette with this look.

I also wore the blazer this way...

And this way...
(Yes, I have had hair colors other than blonde.)

Today, I'm also linking up with 
* The Style Record (
* Mix it Mondays (

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Caution: I am not this cool in real life.

At my age, we women walk a tricky rope when we say, "I have big news for you!" Most people predict a pregnancy announcement. I can assure you that is not the case for the news I am about to share. In fact, as you read this post, I am under the ENT's knife because my face doesn't like itself. Well, the inside of my face doesn't like itself. I'm working on trying to sustain my own life at the moment, not grow another one.

Anyway, as one of my juniors always says, you're probably wondering why I gathered you all here today.

I am not even sure how to tell you, so bear with me.

As you may or may not know, my mom is my biggest cheerleader in life. She thinks I can conquer the world, and the greatest reason I can defeat so many of my health-related obstacles is because of her "you can do it" attitude. She likes all of my blog posts on Facebook. She keeps up with everything that I write on here. She takes my pictures for the blog. She cheers louder for my victories than any of my adversaries could boo. Well, her love for me led her to write a paragraph nominating me as one of Neiman Marcus' Faces of Beauty, a woman who is beautiful both inside and out. I guess I inherited my flair for writing from her because Neiman Marcus picked me as one of their six faces of beauty for this fall. (Seriously, just typing that sentence almost made me throw up with apprehension and excitement.)

When I first received the e-mail, I thought it was a total hoax like those "you have a million dollars waiting for you in Africa" e-mails, so I called mom and hesitantly inquired, "Did you nominate me to be one of Neiman Marcus' Faces of Beauty?" Softly and with a hint of curiosity in her voice, she responded, "yes." So, I responded, "Well, I just received an e-mail that said they picked me. I'm exactly what they're looking for. They love that my mom nominated me." I think my right ear is still ringing from her shrill shrieks that pierced it at that very moment.

So they picked me. I can think of a long list of women I find more talented, beautiful, and giving than I am, but they picked me. Nothing really compares to a mother's love, and I can attest to that truth.

What does it all mean? Well, I fly out to Dallas May 5th-6th, they put me up in a hotel, I have a photoshoot with a NY photographer, I get $1500 in cosmetics/fragrances, I keep the wardrobe from the photoshoot, I get chauffeured in a limo, I get free dinners/lunches, and they use my face for their national advertising campaign. I do not know what I did to deserve a mother as wonderful as mine and an experience as exceptional as this one, but I am grateful. And that word seems so small and insignificant to express how thankful I am for my mom's faith in me. I know you're probably reading this, Mom, so thank you. Thank you so very much for being my mom.

There's the big news. Now, what do I wear?

Mom says this outfit would be a good choice. Since she dresses me better than I do, she's probably right. Plus, it's the spring version of my favorite fall/winter outfit.

The Look:
Cardigan: Sonoma via Kohl's
Top: Merona via Target (recent)
Skirt: Francesca's
Flats: Target
Earrings: Local Boutique called Sweet Elizabeth Jane (find them on Facebook!)

I think this outfit qualifies for the April challenge because it suits two themes: tribal print and local love.

Today is my big link up day. I'm joining all of these ladies:
* What I Wore to Work:
* All Things Thursday:
* Look What I Got (for cheap): 
* Tres-Chic Fashion Thursday:


Wednesday, April 9, 2014

What's in a name?

Yesterday, I snuck it in that my middle name is Danielle. You see, my first name is Heather, but only my flamboyant music teacher in second grade and one of my brother's creepy friends in high school ever called me by the name. Mom and Dad knew from day one that they'd call me Danielle. Mom, however, believes that Heather Danielle has a certain ring to it that Danielle Heather just does not. Dad picked Heather, and Mom picked Danielle in an attempt to name me after Dad whose name is Danny. She argued that she would never name her son "Danny Ray Jr.," so here I am. A Danielle who thinks poop stories and fart jokes are funny.

I guess I should be grateful that Dad prevented Mom from making her first choice: Sammy Jo. I'm from a county affectionately dubbed "Cow" County, so I cannot imagine the overall covered life I could have led as Sammy Jo. (Granted, overalls are making a huge fashion splash these days.) Thankfully for Mom, she can rest easily now that she has a puppy named Sammy.

When I finally change my last name--I realize we are on year three of marriage, but it took him seven to pop the question, which means I can take my sweet time changing names--my maiden name will become my new middle name.

There you have it.

Come back tomorrow, and I will share with you some BIG news. News that makes me look way cooler than I am in real life.

The Look:
Blazer: Express (SO VERY OLD--I had to cut off the "straps" that came with it. So weird.)
Shirt: The Limited (similar
Skirt: LOFT (exact)
Shoes: J.Crew Factory (really comfortable...I want them in black.)
Necklace: The Limited 

Once again, I am participating in Sarah's April Challenge and today's theme is lace. 
Also linking up with 
* Pleated Poppy (