10 Points for a Pedestrian

Confession: I'm a troll in the mornings. I'm that ugly, horrible, cranky troll who lives under the bridge in The Three Billy Goats Gruff story. Okay, maybe I'm not that bad, but it takes me awhile to adjust to human interaction. Luckily (and not so luckily) for me, I have an hour commute to work; it helps me adjust to the sight of other people. Unfortunately, it does not quell my agitation when I'm driving into the school parking lot and I'm greeted by a horde (or sometimes just a pair) of lazily meandering teenagers. I do realize that pedestrians have the right of way; however, why would someone walk down the middle of the parking lot? It's as if this person is asking someone to hit them...hard. I'm usually tempted to oblige. I wrote a poem to deal with my frustration. Do not worry. I would not actually hit a pedestrian, even if they asked for it.

Beep beep.

Why are you in the way?

Don't you know that

I'm feeling rather homicidal today?

Beep beep.

Did you leave your brain in the cereal bowl

this morning?

Don't you know that

This horn is a friendly warning?

Beep beep.

Is the music on your iPod too loud?

Don't you know that

This bowling ball will wreck your crowd?

Beep beep.

Have you earned your license yet?

Don't you know that

It's 10 points for the pedestrian you get?

Beep beep.

I'll just continue to creep, creep

Until you make parking easier for me.