It's Story Time: Country Girl in the Big City

When the school system in which I teach was hiring me for their county, a most interesting thing happened. You see, it all started with the crazy messages that Dad creates for the answering machine. When the new answering machine arrived and I was in elementary school, I still remember Mom, right before she left for a PTA meeting or the market, telling Dad, "Now, don't you dare go right upstairs and make a stupid message for our machine. I mean it, Danny." Like a small child you put the red button in front of and tell not to touch, Dad scurried (as much as a man who's 6'6" can "scurry") upstairs the moment she closed the front door behind her because he had the perfect message in mind.

For years, the message ran, in his most impressive "redneck" voice, something like this: "Howdy, this yars the ________. We can't come to the phone right now. We're outside sloppin' the hogs and feedin' the chickens. Sure would like to know why y'all called, so leave a message after this thing makes that little ol' beepin' sound." When the school system called my parents' house where I lived at the time, we still had this answering machine message, the same one that people would actually call back our house again just to hear it another time. As a result, the manager in charge of hiring me wrote a special note in my file: "may encounter adversity." Why? He thought I was some country girl from the back 40 who was coming to the big cities of Howard County, Maryland (which is a joke in itself, I might add).

When I called him one day to say that Mom was coming with me to sign paperwork, he thought my shitkicker and overall-wearing (not cool at the time like it is again now) hillbilly of a mother was coming to check out the town and make sure it was safe for her baby girl. All of this truth came out, and I explained that Dad is an extremely eccentric man; I am from a county affectionately nicknamed "Cow County," but I'm not a farm girl despite how many times I watched Green Acres and The Beverly Hillbillies (SO.MUCH.NICK.AT.NITE.)

Several years later, when Jeff and I were adopting our sweet puppies, Roxy and Squirt, the adoption lady called my parents' house for a reference. Once again, someone heard this message on the machine. She hung up and did not leave a message; in fact, she called me, asking whether or not I gave her the wrong number. And, once again, I had to explain my Dad's eccentricities to a stranger. Four of us lived in that house for a long time, but I am the only one who not once but TWICE had an interesting experience as a result of Dad's voicemail creativity. And people wonder why it's impossible to embarrass me.

Anyway, Mom accompanied me to Baltimore City yesterday because I needed to visit one of the professional buildings. If you don't know Baltimore, though it has its allure and charms (I met my now husband in a dance club there almost 10 years ago), then you should know that Baltimore makes a name for itself with its impressive number of murders per capita. Like everywhere, however, it has its redeeming qualities and not-so-bad parts of town. On the ride home, GPS took us the shorter route, which did not translate to the safer route. In fact, many of the houses were boarded up and the loveliest of individuals frequented the streets. As Mom stared at a boarded up house, commenting on its "shaggy curtains" and "light coming through one of the boarded up windows," I scolded her severely. "DO NOT ENGAGE. STOP LOOKING. LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD. IF YOU MUST, LOOK WITH YOUR EYEBALLS BEHIND SUNGLASSES, NOT WITH YOUR HEAD TURNED." She asked why and I responded, "you're looking into a boarded up window. You don't know what's looking back at you." She kept her head straight the rest of the time. I guess that's what the "country" taught me.

I now understand why my high school Chem teacher told us that if we were somewhere we shouldn't be at a time we really shouldn't be there, we need to pull our hoods over our heads, rock back and forth, and chatter incoherently at a trashcan. No one messes with a crazy person.

Now that I shared story time with you, I will share with you an outfit I wore while signing the offer we put in on a house last week (an offer the seller accepted, I guess I should add?).

 

The Look:

Dress: Some designer for Target via thredUP  (similar options: $, $$, $$$--$20-70)

Cardigan: Target, Mossimo brand (I finally got another one to replace the original I killed from wearing too much.)

Shoes: via DSW 

Necklace: H&M via Poshmark shop

Purse: via Marshall's

Sunglasses: gift from Momma (LOFT)

Unexpected Inspiration: Hair & Toes

At first, I considered not writing a post about the outfit that I already posted on Instagram this morning, and then I realized how often I see outfies (outfit selfies, it'll eventually catch on) that I wish I could see as something other than an itty, bitty Instagram shot. Had I not loved today's outfit so much, I would've left you to your own Insta-devices, but this color combination and print have me rather smitten. Plus, maybe, like me, you want to see larger shots of Instagram outfies. 

Let's talk about that post title up there for a moment. This morning, I did not want to shower. (Oh, please, don't act like you shower every day. I will wash my feet before yoga tonight; don't worry.) First, I washed my face, which required this headband because my bangs do this let's-play-octopus-tentacles thing. I decided that my hair looked halfway decent pulled back and strapped in with this headband, so I began to hunt for something in my closet that went with it. (My head is oddly shaped, so headbands usually fly off my head within five minutes. Since my brain cooperated with me this morning, I thought of a genius idea: bobby pin the bottom of the headband to my hair. IT WORKED. Where has this brilliance been all of my life?) Anyway, enter Maxi Dress Monday, the best idea if I ever did hear of one (better than a bobby pin strapping a headband to my head). This dress has been taunting me for awhile now, and I finally gave in to it. It's pretty perfect with the headband, no?

Originally, I threw on a white cardigan because the dress would otherwise be inappropriate for work. And then I looked at my feet. I realized that the lovely pink color I painted on my toes yesterday served as a fun pairing with the yellow. "Aha!" I said to myself. "Let's put on the pink cardigan." I knew I made a good choice when my husband declared how much he liked my "sundress" (we'll let him have it--God love him for trying), a colleague called me a "Grecian goddess," and my co-teacher commented, "I never would've thought to put those colors together, but I love it." All before 7:30 in the morning. Way to make a girl who didn't shower this morning feel awesome about her hygienic neglect. 

Riddle me this: what are some of the odd places you've found sartorial inspiration?

The Look:

Sandals: Enzo Angiolini via Marshall's

Cardigan: Banana Republic via thredUP

Dress: LOFT outlet (last year for $20!)

Necklace: Boutique 

Headband: Walmart

Earrings: Old Navy

The nail polish is from my aunt, and it's by Ulta. My Mom loved it so much that she found an Essie look-alike called bachelorette bash (I think that was the name). 

Style Swap

Shout out to my girl, Brynn, for providing me inspiration that I so pitifully lacked on Saturday as I sluggishly prepared to leave the apartment. I really liked the colors of Brynn's outfit, so I wore my lime green cardigan again. I guess this little blog-a-roo has shown me a thing or two, particularly which items in my closet happen to rank above the rest. Who would've thought a lime green cardigan could be so versatile? I certainly did not.

I realize that these pictures might deceive you into thinking my pants are black. In fact, they are a dark blue jean, and they feel like soft puppy ears. (Come on, you know what I mean, right?) 

Two things before you hang out with my outfit shamelessly copied from Brynn:

1. I think we need to institute a new rule on Facebook/social media: do not tell your "friends" that everyone in your house has "the vomits." I have a pretty legitimate, intense fear of throw up (used to be so bad that just hearing the word made my stomach churn and send me into a terrible shaking fit), so I would greatly appreciate not hearing about how frequently and violently the members of your household are losing their cookies. (Yes, part of the reason I chose to teach high school was because of the better control of bodily functions. Granted, my second year of teaching was accompanied by a puker in my room. I taught outside for a week. Not kidding.)

2. If you want to bring forth a greater possibility of a snow day, then just book the computer lab and plan out the week. Mother Nature will say poo poo to you. Oh well, I have one more day to procrastinate grading. I mean...

 

The Look:

Cardigan: Target

Blouse: New York and Co.

Belt: Target

Jeans: American Eagle (they're technically jeggings, but I agree with Brynn that the word "jeggings" is stupid.)

Boots: Etienne Aigner via Macy's several years ago

Airplane Necklace: gift from Momma (it's Lauren Conrad...go figure)

 

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I've also worn the cardigan these ways...

 

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Linking up with 

Molly 

The Style Record 

 Mix It Mondays 

and

Style Swap 

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Don't forget that tomorrow's Trendy Tuesday is "Gingham and Cords." You can choose just gingham, just cords, or both! Whatever strikes your fancy. Give a shout out on your blog, tag me on Instagram (@likewo), or mention it on Twitter (@littlebitofwowe). I'd love to come check out your looks!

Blushing Gold

Okay, this pink isn't really blush, but I liked the title too much to pass it up. I have my moments of intelligence. 

You know what? I've never tried this particular color combination before. Typically, I pair pink with gray/silver, but I'm a recent fan of this pink and gold loveliness. 

When I wore this yesterday, the assistant principal who shares the Dapper Dan/Danielle award with me said, "I really like the gold, especially the shoes. It's like Dorothy, just gold instead of red." I can appreciate a dude with fashion sense. If only I could click my heels and be home. Instead, I am sitting in the school parking lot writing a blog post on my Blogger app. before I embark on my hour long commute (which I must endure for only two more weeks!) I have reached a new level of wonderment. 

The Outfit:

Gold Cardigan: Old Navy

Pink blouse that I slopped breakfast on: NY&Co. 

Pants: Celebrity Pink via Boscov's 

Gold flats: Audrey Brooke via DSW

Necklace: my girl LC via Kohl's, of course (Momma bought it for me. I'm so the favorite.) 

The Details:

Occasion: Teaching (namely proctoring the PSAT)

Comments: Does anyone else own pants that suffer from crotch clicking syndrome? Are we speaking the same language? Do your pants, especially when it's so quiet you could hear a brain fart, sometimes make a clicking sound that comes from the ever convenient crotch? Tell me I'm not the only one with this problem. And it IS a problem, first world or not, especially during PSAT proctoring. Regardless, this outfit is comfortable despite its being loud sometimes. 

I'll understand if you stop reading this blog. It's not easy visiting Crazy Town. 

I couldn't help myself.

Today was the only day during spirit week that you could find me looking presentable for anyone outside of my high school. Of course, on Monday (pajama day), my sweet mother dearest asked me to visit her at the eye doctor to pick out glasses. I agreed only when she told me she'd bring me a snack and water. (At least I didn't ask for a juice box, but don't think that's below me. It's not. I love a good apple juice juice box as much as the next five-year-old.)

Okay, I usually buy nothing full price, but I could not help myself with this shirt. I just couldn't. Squeezing out $38 for it seemed preposterous, but my friend Megan was not at all helpful in preventing me from putting it on the counter. Plus, it called to me. I neeeded it. Just as much as I neeeded to buy a pair of turtle earrings for my turtle-loving sister-in-law. For-no-reason-at-all gifts are the best gifts, right?

I hope Fran hasn't given up on me and reads this post because I do believe she'll appreciate the artsy fartsy lighting in these photos.

This shirt will match so many things, but I went all minimalist because it speaks for itself. No?

The Outfit:

Shirt: Francesca's

Cardigan: Merona via Target

Pants: Celebrity Pink via Boscov's

Gold Flats: Audrey Brooke via DSW (for $19!!)

Please tell me the shirt was worth it. I need you to pet my ego for a moment.

The Details:

Occasion: Teaching (I needed to dress normally since I had a meeting at another school after the school day ended. Pajamas at the eye doctor was bad enough.)

Comfort Rating: 10 

Comments: I finally broke in these flats, so they don't dig into my heels when I wear them. These pants fit much better when accompanied by a belt, which you cannot see in these photos. This shirt is fifty shades of lovely.

Fun Fact: One of my students was late to class because s/he got his/her (anonymity is important here) knee stuck in the railings. Hysterical. Because everything worked out. And because why isn't it funny? 

St. Patrick's Day Style

I went nowhere other than the grocery store and my living room couch yesterday, but I still sported green...in all sorts of shades. After years of getting pinched, I've been trained to wear green on St. Paddy's (proper spelling) Day. I didn't want some random shopper at Giant to smurf bite me. My brother's given me enough of those over the years. 

I feel like I need to provide you with something witty today, but I have nothing. Nothing, I tell you. However, I do have this...

Apparently, my hair tries to escape when I hop on the elliptical. 

And this...

She wanted to work out, too. I'm not sure that would have went too well. 

And look what came in the mail today...

Hellooooo, beautiful yellow blazer.

Fear not: I will be coming up with an outfit for it this week. 

And finally, this...

Are you a fan of my SEVEN DOLLAR Calvin Klein jeans from Marshall's? 

You should be. Why wouldn't you be?

Only gold shoes seemed appropriate for the occasion. 

A tad grainy, but I'd like to call it impressionistic. Yeah, that sounds fancy.

(Truly, I just wanted you to have a closer glimpse of my $7 earrings from Target.

Hmm...my pants and earrings cost the same amount. Weeeird.)

Outfit Deets:

Jacket: Forever 21

Sweater: Target

Earrings: Target

Scarf: Target

(we have a winner, folks.)

Gold heels: Jessica Simpson via I have no idea

Brown belt: NY & Co (love their belts)

Jeans: Calvin Klein via Marshall's

I'm hanging out over at Molly's today.