Monday, September 15, 2014

What you see is what you get.

Brynn completed the questions in video format, but my face currently looks as if poison ivy set up camp on it. I decided to spare you, but I hope my verbal wit conveyed itself in writing. If not, know that I made a valiant effort.

  1.   How tall are you?  5’6”
  1. Do you have a hidden talent?  If so, what? If I told you, it wouldn’t be hidden any longer and what fun is that? However, I can scratch my nose with my nose and do the Elvis lip. Do these freakish physical feats count?
  1. What's your biggest blog-related pet peeve? I have to agree with Brynn on this one. People who leave comments in hopes you will comment on their blogs. Also, if I sprinkle my heart into the post talking about something other than poop, which is my typical banter, and all you say is “cute shoes!” then I’m feeling rather slighted. Maybe I spend an inordinate amount of time deliberating over what I’ll post in a comment, but I feel some thought should go into a comment even if it’s one that makes the blogger laugh.
  1. What's your biggest non-blog-related pet peeve? Of what variety exactly? Fashion related? Absolutely that tall sock trend that’s all the rage among teenagers. You know the trend we made fun of our granddads for because they wore the socks to prevent shin sunburns? Oh, and leggings being worn as pants. They’re called leggings, which means I should see only your legs. When they make something called assings, feel free to let that body part hang out. No, on second thought, don’t. Just don’t.
  1. What's your favorite song? Do people even have favorite songs anymore? That’s a thing? Seriously? There is so much music out there, and you expect me to pick ONE song? I can pick one man to love for the rest of my life, but a song? Nope.
  1. What's your favorite Etsy shop that isn't yours? I don’t Etsy. Is that a verb? Can I make it a verb even though I don’t do it? Everyone is so talented on there, and I think my mom should sell her scarves on there.
  1. What's your favorite way to spend your free time when you're alone? I like looking at blogs, shopping alone, and generally being alone, which Jeff rarely lets me do. I make him go fishing so that I can have “me” time (which usually results in grading time). Otherwise, he will make as much noise as humanly possible, and he will get in my face as frequently as he can.
  1. What's your favorite junk food? I’m not sure how much you know about me, but I have the world’s most cantankerous digestive system. Junk food does not exist in my home nor my vocabulary. Back when I could consume anything, I loved oatmeal cream pies and Lucky Charms. Now, I drink kale smoothies, brown rice cakes with almond butter, and cucumbers smothered in olive oil and Old Bay. Try not to be too jealous of me.
  1. Do you have a pet or pets?  If so, what kind and what are their names? Oh, if you follow me on Instagram, you’d know the answer is yes. I could not live life without dogs. We have two Shiba Inu, Squirt and Roxy, also known as Squirtle and Roxy Doodles. Or peanut and brazil nut. Or princess and dumpy butt.
  1. What are your number one favorite nonfiction and fiction books? I can actually answer this question unlike the song one. The Alchemist is my favorite fiction book of all time; it speaks to my soul. We even used an excerpt of it for one of the readings at our wedding. As for nonfiction, I loved The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. It made me feel all the feelings. At one point, I actually threw the book across the room; I can’t believe what an enormous bastard her father is/was.
  1. What's your favorite beauty product? Currently, this subject is a sensitive one because I happen to be allergic to something I put on my face. What exactly, I won’t know for several more days until I see the doctor. However, First Aid Beauty’s lotion has been a life and skin saver. When I find something that does not make my skin rage something hellish, I shall inform the masses by singing from the rooftops. And possibly doing a jig.
  1. When were you last embarrassed?  What happened? If you met my dad and brother, you would understand that embarrassment does not exist in my family. Dad spent too many years conditioning us against it. However, that time I completely took a dive outside of Target might qualify as embarrassing. Actually, painful is a better adjective. Purely excruciating. I called my Dad after it happened to say that I followed his and Mom’s “always break your fall with your hands, not your face” advice and he said, “What? Did the sidewalk jump out at you?” A brutal war wound showed up approximately three minutes later.
  1. If you could only drink on beverage (besides water) for the rest of your life, what would it be? Those kale smoothies I made fun of earlier are actually delicious, but my tastebuds are distorted. If I told you what really goes into it, you might stop visiting me here.
  1. What's your favorite movie? Under the Tuscan Sun makes me so happy; Jeff and I quote it weekly. Brynn is my long lost best friend because I love crude movies, too, especially Pitch Perfect. And goofy movies. Like Tommyboy. And Liar Liar. And Mrs. Doubtfire. And Easy A.
  1. What were you in high school: prom queen, nerd, cheerleader, jock, valedictorian, band geek, loner, artist, prep? None of the above. Can I call myself a floater without your thinking of me as a turd in the toilet? No? Well, that’s the best way I can describe it. For the record, I’m way cooler as a teacher than I ever was as a student.
  1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Wherever my family is I could happily call home. And food my stomach can safely consume. Anywhere that’s not this apartment.
  1. PC or Mac? One of my colleagues says he doesn’t know how Jeff and I are married because I am absolutely Mac and he is staunchly PC. We make it work.
  1. Last romantic gesture from a crush, date, boy/girlfriend, spouse? As you may or may not know, we are moving at the end of the month and I have a lot of allergies. (My brother has referred to me as bubble girl on more than one occasion.) So, Jeff has scheduled duct cleanings, a maid service, and carpet cleaning before I move into the house. I find that wildly romantic because he genuinely cares about my well-being. He even went to the natural market today to get me make-up that would (hopefully) not make my face look like it was covered in Poison Ivy. Also, he makes me breakfast every single morning. He’s just so thoughtful. (I know I complained about his harassing me earlier, but at least I can follow that up with a lot of positives.)
  1. Favorite celebrity? Emma Stone, HANDS DOWN. Girlfriend looks hot in every hair color. Her wit is enviable. And I love every single one of her movies.
  1. What blogger do you secretly want to be best friends with? So many. Kate, Brynn, already met Whitney!, Andi, Fran, Ginny, and Lauren just to name a few. If you actually understand my humor and appreciate it, let’s be friends online and in real life. 
I would tag people, but I think everyone I would have tagged is already tagged. SO, do it if you haven't already!


  1. Your blog posts are always very entertaining. I think you must be a really great teacher, engaging, motivating and firm, which is a combination you really need to have a happy and productive class. I have to say no.4 with the leggings - yep that is all the rage over here in Scotland as well. I just do not get it. These girls spend hours on their hair, and faces and have lovely smart shirts and ties... then leggings!! It makes no sense. I do not want to see your pants (that is knickers or panties to you I think?) or if the leggings are particularly cheap they are basically see through. I hope the fashion for proper trousers comes back soon....

  2. I'm CRACKING UP over I always do when I read your blog. I'm not even sure where to begin. I love your dogs' nicknames. I have a ridiculous number of nicknames for Izzo and I rarely call him by his given name. I hope your face feels better soon and you are getting super excited for your new house!

  3. I want to comment about every single thing, but nobody has time for that! SO I'll just say that assings is my new favorite made up word. I 100% agree with your answers to #5 and 6. I somehow completely missed the junk food question when I did my post, so the world will never know. I continually hope your face recovers soon. And we absolutely need to meet in real life! I mean, we should just plan a mini-blogger-conference for our little group (mini-conference, not mini-bloggers). You know, since none of us are at all busy!

  4. I'm happy to read that at least some of my weird comments on your still-new-to-me blog were received well, since I sometimes write too much, and sometimes focus on some weird little comment rather than what you are wearing. Thanks for sharing this in printed form, too. I tend to not watch videos because our computers are huh-laciously slow.

  5. *NOTE: After typing all of this, I realized it looked ridiculous with proper spacing so I've lumped it into a mixed up paragraph. As an English teacher, please ignore the changes of subjects throughout. Try not to cringe as you read it.* I'm so happy you did this! I think you should make a video once your faces stops being angry at you so we can all catch a glimpse of what you'd be like in real life. I mean, it'd be impossible for you to be as witty in person as you are on this blog right? Right? I'm so glad to hear the First Aid Beauty lotion is working for you. I still highly recommend trying coconut oil but I totally understand you not wanting to try anything new on your face at the moment. So the comment thing, it's funny that you mention people only noticing your outfits. There have been many times when I've responded to whatever hilarious story you've told and completely missed out on complimenting the day's cuteness. I think I've said this before but your blog is the one I look forward to "reading" more than just checking out a cute outfit. The outfits are just a huge plus since I'd wear every single thing you own. And like it. Your mom should definitely sell her scarves on Etsy. I think your blog readers would sell her out in a heartbeat. It sounds like our men are similar. I LOVE being alone and look forward to the few hours I get alone every morning. My boyfriend works from home so he never leaves unless we're going some place together. Although our new temporary place has two floors so I've been spending time downstairs more as it sort of feels like I'm alone. That counts right? I am so jealous of your brown rice cakes with almond butter. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. You have me very curious about those books. I'll have to look into those. Your family sounds amazing. I'd like to just sit in a corner and watch all of you. I bet I'd be keeled over laughing so hard at all of you. Well, with you I should say as I'm sure you'd all be laughing at some point too. You picked some great bloggers to be friends with in real life. We should start a club.

  6. Oh my gosh what cute shoes! haha :-P I have to say I love your humor in your writing and you have me cracking up all the time! And I'm pretty sure our dads must be twins, because mine does all sorts of jokes and funny things all the time- my teenage sister gets embarrassed by him all the time but I must be conditioned to it! And I hope your face clears up soon! Ain't nobody got time for that!

  7. I also don't Etsy. Mostly I think because I can only be sucked into buying awesome handcrafted things when they are physically in front of me like at a craft show. On Etsy they are too far away and don't seem real. And I do think that he's quite romantic to make sure that the place is clean and won't make you sick before you move in (I'm all about practicality combined with romance).

  8. You have no outfit here, so I have nothing to comment on. Just saying.

    jk, obvi. you are my long lost floating turd :)

  9. Yes to Emma Stone! I feel like she is the coolest nerd and that I want to be friends with her, I feel that way about Tina Fey too. And I totally agree about shopping alone. Shopping with other people makes me anxious because I'm so indecisive and I go back and forth and back and forth and try things on three times, which I know would drive anyone else nuts. Also, I'm sorry that your skin is still causing you such problems. One thing that always helps me is Cerave's moisturizing lotion. If I have crazy dermatitis breakouts and can't wear make-up or anything, I can still use the lotion. I also use it at least twice every day. I probably should have gone with that for my favorite product, derp.


Feel free to throw some witticisms my way.