Do not be deceived.

I wore this outfit on a much more spring-like day. Today, despite the sunshine, requires a sweatshirt and a jacket. The poor thermostats must all be suffering right now. I understand now why mercurial means what it means.

I have little with which to amuse you today; however, several things amused me today.

1. A student tried to fix the printer on our mobile computer lab cart. When the "fix" he tried based on a Google search did not work (twice), he grumbled, "This really grinds my gears." Ah, man, I am still chuckling.

2. One of my students wrote a vocabulary story about how she prohibited farting in her car once she got her license yesterday. Her younger brother said he was "going to blow," so she made him stick his butt out the window. I made them write these stories as comic strips, so the accompanying pictures made the tears that streamed down my face from laughter all the more inevitable.

3. When my sixth period was completely silent, my intern decided to pop a mini rice cake into his mouth. What he did not realize was that another rice cake had accidentally adhered itself to it, so he literally bit off more than he could chew...quietly. The look on his face as he realized that the crunching would be deafening in such a quiet room sent me into a fit of laughter, which I had to contain as quietly as possible, a nearly impossible feat for someone with a laugh as boisterous as mine.

 

Dress: Express (found it in clearance section for $20)

Vest: Lauren Conrad via Kohl's

Necklace: Old Navy

Sandals: Franco Sarto via TJ Maxx (honestly, Franco Sarto makes THE best sandals.)

Trunks up to my favorite animals

Pardon that little tuft of hair that's escaping the rest of my bangs. New hair keeps coming in, so I continually have this awkward phase where I these little sprites of bangs make me look as if I had to remove gum from my hair with scissors. Let's just call them endearing and move on, shall we?

Today is a snow day. Yahoo? At this point, I have resigned myself to the fact we will be celebrating the fourth of July together at school. I kid. Sort of. I guess wearing this elephant scarf yesterday was good luck (depending on how you look at it, of course)? However, the elephants' trunks are not up, and someone from India once told me that elephants with their trunks up are considered good luck. Since I love elephants (I am currently looking at four different elephants in my room--a figurine, a humidifier, and two lamps), I will not argue with such kind words about them. I should probably fact check, but why would I run the risk of disappointing myself?

My other favorite animal? The prairie dog. I find them wildly amusing, especially with those little heads that just pop up periodically. I hand-fed them at a zoo in Arizona several years ago, and it may have completed my life. About six years ago, they were renovating the prairie dog exhibit in Baltimore (near me), and prairie dogs started escaping! They were climbing walls and burrowing out. The zoo workers had to scoop them up with nets and put them back into their habitat. They had one little bugger surrounded, and he decided to make his way back into the habitat instead of subjecting himself to the swarm of zoo workers. I really wish I visited the zoo that day; I may or may not have scooped up a prairie dog to take home in my purse. I would have named it Houdini because who doesn't want an escape artist for a pet? Here's the article (which is hilariously written, by the way).

I apologize that the lighting leaves a bit to be desired. Jeff argued that the lighting was best here, while I argued for the opposite side, and I think we have another episode of "The Wife Was Right" set to air today.

 

The Look:

Cardigan: Forever 21 (a student remarked, "nice white and gold outfit today," and I laughed pretty hard. Kids are so witty.) 

Scarf: Gift from my sister-in-law :)

Chambray (actually short sleeves): J.Crew Factory

Jeans: Gap maternity 

Flats: Jessica Simpson (these bad boys are old)

Teacher Style: Reimagining Boot-Cut or Wide-Leg Pants

Raise your hand if you donated/sold (almost) all of your wide-leg and boot-cut pants the moment skinny pants became popular because, well, skinny pants go with a wider variety of footwear. And, gosh, who wears wide-leg or boot-cut anymore? I contest that these poor pants need more attention because there is really nothing wrong with them except that they've become the "other" child with skinny pants hogging all of the limelight. Well, skinny pants and boyfriend-cut pants, but those always make me look like a have a dumpy butt; kudos to you ladies who pull them off with finesse. That boyfriend is just not that into me, I assure you.

Anyway, I have found that my pants not in the skinny category just need a few tweaks to make them as loveable as skinny or slim-cut pants. Like me, you might have to play around with the different widths of the pants based on your shoe collection (wedges look better with pants that are wide for the entire length of the pant; heels look better with pants that gradually get wider; flats look good with ones that aren't too long). Today, I'm bringing you two pairs of pants that are NOT skinny or slim cut, and there is some variation in the two pairs.

The Pants

Pair 1: Olive slacks from Express--a dressier fabric; gradually get wider at the bottom; longer pant length to accommodate heels better

Pair 2: Cobalt slacks from LOFT--100% cotton that feels less dressy (more like a khaki material); more like a boot-cut; not as wide OR long as the olive pants, which means they work better with flats.

The Looks

I took the same top half and styled it for both pairs of pants so that you could see how I tweaked the fit of the top half in order to accommodate the fit of the bottom half. I included a lot more pictures in this post because I thought it helped. If you find the number of pictures overwhelming, forgive me.

 **Update: I added this picture about 15 minutes after publishing the post.**

Look 1 (top half): striped top + colored cardigan

(Yes, Kate, I chose this cardigan just for you.)

Cobalt Pants: Since I opted for flats, which don't make my legs look as awesome, I tucked in the shirt and added a belt to keep proportion. In other words, I didn't want to look like I was all one width, so I cinched in the waist with a belt. 

Olive Pants: I could have tucked in the shirt and added a belt, but I felt the heels changed the proportions enough to keep the shirt untucked. If you, unlike me, actually have a chest, your decisions to tuck or not tuck will vary. I cannot speak from the land of the well endowed. Sorry.

Look 2 (top half): bedazzled, blush top + cropped white blazer

I find that longer cardigans and blazers look a little weird with these pants, especially the cobalt ones because of the pockets. It creates this odd bump under the cardigan if the cardigan is too long. The shirt is too long to leave it untucked, but I'd leave a shorter shirt untucked if it didn't run too far past the length of the blazer/cardigan. (Again, it's all about proportions.)

Oh, by the way, my standing mirror is now in one room and my closet in another, which means my dogs follow me from one room to the next for every outfit change. Until they get too tired. And then you have what you see here. My canine shadows.

Cobalt Pants: Now, these "flats" have a little heel to them, so they're not too flat, but I still don't think they qualify as heels. They're the Harper flats by J.Crew Factory.

Olive Pants: These shoes are just tall enough that the pant legs don't drag on the floor. 

Look 3 (top half): sleeveless blouse + blazer + belt

So, what's different here? I changed up my color palette ever so slightly! HA! I chose olive shoes for the cobalt pants and cobalt shoes for the olive pants. If you don't have a ridiculous number of colors in your shoe selection, this option doesn't work completely. However, you can still rock the sleeveless blouse, belt, and cropped blazer look.

Look 4 (top half): printed cardigan + pendant necklace + white tank

(and sleeping puppy)

Cobalt Pants: I tried buttoning the cardigan for this look, but it looked weird with the pockets. If you are unsure about your midsection, swap the tank for a white blouse that doesn't hug you in places you don't want a hug. 

Olive Pants: The belt looked WEIRD with this top half and pair of pants; however, I wanted to cinch in my waist somehow. Now you know why I buttoned half of the cardigan. Also, if your midsection leaves you feeling self conscious, go with this option if your pockets allow you. Sweater material is much more forgiving than a body-hugging tank.

 See how the pants tuck in a little bit after my hips? If you don't want to accentuate yours more, you might opt for a pair that stays wider for the length of your legs. I think I heard that tip on What Not to Wear. (WHY did they get rid of that show?! bah.)

Look 5: chambray + leopard print shoes

Here, I played around with tucking, tying, belting, and shoe height.

Cobalt Pants: Now, I would wear this for casual Friday. When I left the chambray totally buttoned and tucked, I felt like I was wearing some bastardized version of the Canadian tuxedo, and that's kind of weird as it is. Anyway, I wanted the tank to peek out a bit, which is partly why this look feels more casual Friday to me. I opted for leopard flats instead of heels to maintain the casual vibe.

 

 Olive Pants: Could I tuck it in? Sure. Do I like it better tied? Yes. Is it still school appropriate while illustrating a bit of my personality? Absolutely. I considered a pendant necklace and ultimately decided to keep it simple.

Final thoughts:
* Play with proportions. A pair of pants that might make it to the donate/sell pile could look awesome if you just reconsider your top half and shoe choice.

* Never be afraid to try on anything in the store. When Mom and I were cleaning out her closet, I made her try on anything she wasn't sure about. (There was a lot of sweating and whining involved. Luckily, she still loves me.) I told her, "I know you haven't liked any of your Gloria Vanderbilt jeans you've tried on again, but I'm still making you try on this pair. How do you know they won't look amazing? They could become your favorite of the bunch!" And what do you know? She tried them on while I was falling into the abyss of her closet and asked my thoughts on them. I said I loved them, and she agreed. I asked who made them. She laughed and said, "These are those Gloria Vanderbilt ones you made me try on." The moral of the story is that I'm always right. Oh no, that's not it. It's that even if you think every pair of Exact Stretch pants from The Limited fits you terribly, you might find one that is miraculously cut just right for you. It's like a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment. They happen in real life, people.

* It's all about reimagining.

* If the pants just look terrible on you--they make you feel like a hot dog wrapped in Saran Wrap--then donate or sell them. However, if you're "just not sure how to wear them," but they "look and feel good," then you better get to steppin' in that closet of yours for some experimentation!


Anyway, how are we feeling about this post and these headless pictures? Do we have a favorite? The ones with the dog staring at the camera? Thought so.

Little Red Dress

This weekend, we visited our friends in New York for their housewarming party. The more we visit them, the more I love that state. Of course, my love for the state is probably directly related to how much I like the people who live in it (the people we visit, not the random New Yorkers who look oddly at my husband and me, the crazy Marylanders, who stop to coo at their dogs). However, I do not enjoy the four (and then some?) hour drive from Maryland to New York, but some people are worth white knuckling the arm rest and console while my husband plays almost bumper cars with everyone who's driving "too slowly" in the "fast" lane. I have this deal with him. I either pass out or throw up while he drives--he's a maniac, if you ask me--and everyone prefers a car that does not smell of vomit, which means I sleep.

What you're seeing today is how I looked before the car ride. I'd like to think I still looked presentable when I exited the vehicle, but I know my face and head looked a little worse for wear. I wish car hair, which is worse than hat hair, looked better after four hours, but even strapped in by a seat belt, I cage fight in my sleep. Or run a marathon. Or swim under imaginary water. Who can be sure? Then, I wake up, and my husband likes to roll down the windows, which turns the car into a wind tunnel. My hair never stands a chance.

If you are new to this neck of Bloglandia, welcome. Obviously, I find my outfits worthy enough to share, but I hope you find my words so entertaining that they bring you back.  Surely, my pasty legs won't magnetize you to this blog. Or maybe they will. If you're into that sort of thing.

The Look:

Dress: Isaac Mizrahi for Target (via thredUP)

Jean Jacket: Old Navy

Purse: TJ Maxx

Necklaces: Target

Shoes: Aldo (I have worn them only twice, but I'm thinking about selling them because I found another pair I reeeeeeeally love even more. These are size 8.5 and retail for $70, but I was thinking about selling for $40; buyer pays shipping. Let me know if you're interested!)

In Honor of Jack

Recently, one of our beloved science teachers lost his fight with cancer. On Facebook, one of my colleagues posted that Jack was the only person she ever met whose eyes had an actual twinkle in them. Truly, Jack might have been Santa's belly-less and beardless brother. He was a man who radiated positivity. I didn't have to spend a lot of time with him to know that everything about Jack was wonderful; he even smelled nice. (After a day with teenage funk, a lady learns to appreciate the finer smells of life.) 

His wife, a retired English teacher who used to work at our school, is equally as lovely, and she just so happens to own the best vocabulary of any human being on the planet. Even their daughter, who worked with me at summer school one year, has the most pleasant personality. Something about that family radiates warmth. 

In honor of Jack and his love of the hockey team, the Capitals, we all wore red. Of course, I decided to take it to the next level, and wear all of the team's colors. Here's to you, Jack. You live on in the hearts of everyone you've touched with your kindness. 

The Look:

Shirt: Old Navy

Cardigan: The Limited (old)

Skirt: via Marshall's

Shoes: Sole Society

Necklace: The Limited 

Sunglasses: LOFT via my mommacita 

Whoa, there I am.

Brief recap: I talked about participating in the Neiman Marcus beauty campaign (too many times, I do believe) here (making friends), here (the itinerary), and here (some things I learned). Anyway, my point of contact e-mailed me a few days ago to let me know that Neiman Marcus announced the campaign and the winners on Facebook and their blog, so I thought you might want to know more about the other winners and go read their brief bios.

Note: they say I'm from the D.C. area, but I do not actually live in D.C. I hail from Maryland, but D.C. is less than an hour from me. It might be the capitol of our nation and all, but it's pretty much a part of Maryland, right? Haha. (I'm better at geography than that; I can assure you. Sort of.) My face might be plastered all over this little corner of the internet, but it is still bizarre to see my face elsewhere in cyberspace.

Moving on, I kind of changed my system for getting pictures for the blog. I used to pick out my outfits on the weekend to prepare for the next week, but our weather (and my classroom) has been so unpredictable that I ended up changing outfits in real life. I want this blog to reflect what I actually wear, so I now have Mom take photos of most outfits after I wear them instead of before. Sure, they might be a tad wrinklier that way, but I also know before I have the pictures taken whether or not the outfit was practical for a full day of teaching/doing whatever I was doing when I wore it.

This outfit was really comfortable, and I just love the color combination. I also wore lime and cobalt last summer. I think that dress inspired my love of lime and cobalt together. Of course, we already know I love cobalt with pretty much anything. Can I now draw your attention to the cut of these pants? They're not skinny pants. Would you like to know how old they are? I will tell you: sixteen years old. My pants are as old as the students I teach. WHEN DID I GET HERE?

At least they haven't disintegrated like one of my dad's shirts. Honest to goodness, my Dad put on a shirt from high school, and half of the sleeve disappeared in a plume of smoke when he tried to put his arm in the armhole. The craziest magic trick I ever did see. If my dad is in his 60s and can still fit into clothes from high school, then I don't see why I can't be almost 30 and still fit into clothes from 8th grade. Combat boots and scrunchy socks aside, some of my adolescent style was classic. (Hey overalls, leggings, and crop tops made a comeback, and those were my wardrobe staples in the days of yore. I was so ahead of the times.)

I smirk at you.

The Look:

Shirt: Target

Cardigan: Target 

Belt: Target (whaaaat? I didn't even realize how Target-themed I was!)

Pants: Express via Gabriel Brothers (my favorite place to shop when I visited my grandparents' in Cumberland, MD)

Shoes: Sylvia wedges via J.Crew Factory (seriously, they are so comfortable.)

Earrings: local boutique

I wanted to show you my little earrings. They're so cute and tiny.

Local Love & Lace

Who is not smitten with alliterative titles? People who wouldn't know awesomeness if it poked them in the ocular. That's who. People who deliberately give their children alliterative names, on the other hand, are being almost as cruel as people who name their child after their surname (Phillip Phillips...really?) Maybe I'm just jealous of people with alliterative names. Who can be sure? 

I am back and in action, folks! If you could have seen me literally whip my head back and forth--not as intensely as Willow Smith--as I typed that, you'd surely want to know me in real life if you don't already. I am SO back that I am showing you two outfits today. Oh me oh my. 

I wanted you to see how I dress up and dress down this lovely lace shirt. Something for work and something for play (or casual Friday for those of us whose places of employment are lucky we don't wear stained sweatpants to work on Fridays...whichever).

This shirt is yet another one of my finds on thredUP, which I am almost as smitten with as I am with alliterative titles. Okay, maybe more. The leather jacket, which looks super expensive if you ask me, was a $25 find on thredUP. Cha ching. I think it's turned into my favorite place to shop. They might as well put me on the pay roll. Feel free to be sick of me talking about thredUP. 

However, if you're interested in a post about how I find awesome things on thredUP, I'd be happy to oblige. Just let a sister know. 

The Look:

Blazer: Express (old)

Shirt: LOFT via thredUP

Skirt: The Limited 

Shoes: BCBG via Boscov's 

Earrings: Local boutique called Sweet Elizabeth Jane (find them on Facebook!)

I keep finding the cutest and really reasonably priced (these earrings were a mere $6) jewelry at this boutique in the downtown shopping area near me. Sweet Elizabeth Jane has the cutest housewares and jewelry and trinkets and skirts and ALL THE PRETTY THINGS. If you're ever in downtown Ellicott City, Maryland, check it out. You'll thank me later. 

I smirk like I know what's up. 

Meet outfit number two, my ticket to bad assery, which autocorrect does not think is a thing. Rest assured that it is. 

The Look:

Leather Jacket: Buffalo by David Bitton (via thredUP)

Shirt: LOFT via thredUP

Pants: Celebrity Pink via Boscov's

Flats: Steve Madden via DSW

After I came up with this week's outfits, I cruised Pinterest, which probably should have happened the other way around. Anyway, I realized that this outfit must have been subconsciously inspired by Ashley; I pinned her look 9 weeks ago. Man, it must have really stuck with my brain? I didn't even have this shirt 9 weeks ago. I must also be prophetic. 

Thanks to Sarah and Lucky B Boutique for making me stretch my brain with their April Challenge. 

Today's look is inspired by the "local love" theme (this look was as well, but I needed to make sure I didn't double up on my themes.) I am a rule follower to the core. 

For your viewing pleasure, here is another way I've worn the skirt:

(original post)

And another way I've worn the pants:

(original post)

I'm nothing if not thorough. 

Let me show you my hot pants since I'm not too hot.

So, this past Thursday, I had sinus surgery. The doctor had to fix my deviated septum, bone spur, and clean out my completely clogged sinus cavity. After the surgery, he told Jeff what was happening inside my face. Apparently, my septum was so severely deviated that it totally blocked my left sinus cavity, making it impossible for anything to drain. Essentially, I was on antibiotics for seven weeks for no reason because the infection couldn't clear if it had nowhere to go. He tried to aerate the passages next to my tear ducts, but there was too much inflammation. He found a lot of "diseased" tissue, among other disgusting things, in my sinus cavity.

Today, the doctor unpacked my nose. OH MY GOSH. I do not want to gross you out, so I will not give you the details. All I can tell you is that I cannot believe what came out of my nose this morning.  It was like something from a science fiction movie except this was real. I am almost certain he poked me in the brain at one point. Luckily, Jeff was there to calm me down. The pain was so severe (even with one Percocet and one Tylenol in my system) that I started shaking. Jeff sat in front of me and rubbed my legs and held my hand the whole time. 

Seriously, this weekend was miserable, but Jeff makes the best nurse. He even washed my hair for me. He stayed up for 33 hours straight after my surgery because he insisted on watching me while I slept. He wrote up a schedule for taking pills and fixed me something to eat every time I had to take more medicine. I think I fell in love with him all over again. I avoid being overly sentimental, but I just cannot help it. He went above and beyond the call of duty for me. One of the best parts of this weekend was spending so much time with Jeff. He slept on the floor beside me. We watched a LOT of TV together. And not once did I worry about grading papers or doing work. 

Oh, and it feels pretty glorious to breathe again. 

Currently, I am sitting here in yoga pants and one of Jeff's shirts (mine hit my nose and cause quite the discomfort when I try to put them over my head. I'm special.). I don't think anyone needs pictures of that mess, so I am showing you another outfit I'm thinking about packing for Dallas. Thoughts?

I was inspired by both the Pantone Challenge (radiant orchid is today's color) and April Challenge ("fringe" is today's challenge). 

The Look:

Shirt: The Limited

Blazer: Express

Pants: The Limited

Necklace: Francesca's (I thought this necklace qualified as "fringe")

Shoes: via Kohl's

Belt: The Limited 

I also wore the pants this way...

(I guess I stuck with the same color scheme?)

I stuck to a more neutral palette with this look.

I also wore the blazer this way...

And this way...

(Yes, I have had hair colors other than blonde.)

Today, I'm also linking up with 

* Molly (http://www.themollybuckley.com) 

* The Style Record (http://www.thestylerecord.com) 

* Mix it Mondays (http://www.fizzandfrosting.com/) 

I hate bugs, but I love flowers.

The other day, I talked about how I watched an enormous bug of an unknown variety creep down my wall. Pair this bug with his enormous shadow cast on the wall in the dim light and you have yourself a scary movie recipe. I thought about that bug for a little while, and I realized something. When you live in a house that you can call your own, bugs do not disconcert you quite so much because you think, "hey, that's my bug. I know where that bug came from." When you live in an apartment, you think to yourself, "who the hell owns that bug? WHOSE bug is that? WHO SENT YOU!?" When you run into enough neighbors of dubious quality, that question leaves an unsettling cockroach of a pit in your stomach.

Or maybe it's just me.

Anyway, where there are bugs, there are often flowers. In this case, those flowers are happily residing on my blazer today. I keep meaning to wear this blazer because I really do love it, but other outfits continued to oust it from the line up. Fret not, my pretty blazer, today was your day, and multiple people fawned over you. Plus, you fit perfectly into Sarah's April Challenge.

The Look:

Blazer: Lauren Conrad via Kohl's (similar from ASOS)

Jeans (jeggings...whatever): American Eagle high-rise (exact)

Flats: Audrey Brooke via DSW (love these Steve Madden ones)

Sweater: J.Crew Factory (exact--mine is positano blue...hello, city in Under the Tuscan Sun!)

Necklace: I really wish I could remember where I bought it, but a boy student struck up a conversation with me about it today. "Is that rose quartz, Ms. Wo? I really like that necklace." He loves my favorite book, The Alchemist, so he's clearly an awesome kid. 

This sweater from J.Crew Factory is pretty much perfect. It's the right length, right color (cobalt always wins), and right thickness (not too thick for spring-ish weather). The lovely lady who teaches next door to me was wearing this sweater in purple today, which made me love the sweater even more. 

I also wore the blazer this way...

(Well, I wore them this way in the dressing room. I wish I would've bought those pants!)

I wore the "warm rose" version of this sweater with my floral skirt:

By the way, at the end of next week, you might not hear much from me. I get sinus surgery on Thursday, and I'll be a hot mess for at least five days. If I can, I will hang out with Mom this weekend to get some pictures of future outfits so that you can see what I'd look like without tubes and gauze in my face. (You're welcome for the word visual.) Of course, I might just sit on the couch and chat with her and dad while I play with the puppies, Sammy and Rudy.